his grey home
I'll paint a picture

Nothingness surrounding me
As far as any eye can see
This doesn't really have to be
I, deeply from the colors, drink
Feel them warming, filling me
The comfort that I need so desperately

Beneath this canvas monochrome
Wrapped in the shroud of this grey home
I'll paint a picture all my own

So blind beneath this canopy
So still in lifeless scenery
So pale within this shadow over me
The grey no longer satisfies
The colors neutral to these eyes
I long again to see the sky
I search to find a brighter side
With eyes so frail against the light
Which seems at times to burn me from inside
The grey no longer satisfies
The colors neutral to these eyes
I long again to see the sky

Colors diluted by the lies
And painted thick across the sky
Have seen all life whither and die
I gaze upon this forgery
Up at this dark grim tapestry
And mourn the world once promised me

Beneath this canvas monochrome
Wrapped in the shroud of this grey home
I'll paint a picture all my own


2. I Love The World

[Lyrics by J. Sullivan]

The roll of distant thunder breaks
The afternoon of silence wakes
They hurry through from Petergate as if they know this dance
In fury blind I drive at night
Across the moors, the open roads
Beneath the freezing starry skies, racing in some trance

These cities are illusions of some triumph over Nature's laws
We've seen the iron carcass rust and buildings topple into dust
And as the waters rise it seems we cling to all the rootless things
The Christian lies, technology, while spirits scream and sing...
Oh, God, I love the world

Well I never said I was a clever man
But I know enough to understand
That the endless leaps and forward plans will someday have to cease
You blind yourselves with comfort lies
Like lightning never strikes you twice
And we laugh at your amazed surprise as the Ark begins to sink

The temple that is built so well, to separate us from ourselves
Is a power grown beyond control and a will without a face
And watching from outside I wish that I could wash my hands of this
But we are locked together here, this bittersweet embrace...
Oh, God, I love the world

And if one day the final fire
Explodes across the whitened sky
I know you said you'd rather die and make it over fast
With courage from your bravest friends
Waiting outside for the end
With no bitterness but an innocence that I can't seem to grasp

I know, somehow I will survive this fury just to stay alive
So drunk with sickness, weak with pain
I can walk the hills one last time
Scarred and smiling, dying slow
I'll scream to no one left at all
I told you so, I told you so, I told you so...
Oh, God, I love the world


3. Something Real

[Lyrics by K. Nardi]

All those things that I tried to be,
While wandering further from me
I 'd choked myself in my apathy,
Until I no longer could breathe

My heart, and my hand, always reaching...
Without you within, I was searching...
For something real

The fear followed me and tightly closed my eyes.
The pain crippled me and buried deep the will to even try...

To see so much standing before me
And think there was nothing here for me
How much more wrong could I be?
How much more wrong?

The warmth of life had forgotten me
And left me so cold and alone
But you covered me and placed into me
A feeling like none I had known

My heart, and my hand, I have traded...
With you in my arms I am closer...
To something real

The fear followed me and tightly closed my eyes.
The pain crippled me and buried deep the will to even try...

To see so much standing before me
And think there was nothing here for me
How much more wrong could I be?
How much more wrong could I be?

My heart, and my hand, I have traded...
With you in my arms I am closer...
To something real

To see so much standing before me
And think there was nothing here for me
How much more wrong could I be?
How much more wrong could I be?


4. Dream Again

[Lyrics by J. Emery and K. Nardi]

I don't dream anymore
Yes, they just seem to fade
Always stripping me so clean...
Deserting me

I strive to retain my goals
And try to achieve a certain life
So I can at last be free
Once again allowed to dream

I try hard to keep my hold
So as not to drift away
Still, I cling to hope in vain...
To dull the pain

I strive to retain my goals
And achieve a certain life
So I can at last be free
Once again allowed to dream

Someday I'll understand
These aspirations at hand

I strive to retain my goals
And try to achieve a certain life
So I can at last be free
Once again allowed to dream

Someday I'll understand
These aspirations at hand
Someday I finally will see
My ambition's mortality...
Someday...


5. Explained Away

[Lyrics by J. Emery]

Donning a sweet contented mask
Acquiring bliss, a grueling task
Adoring a regretful past
Wondering how long it can last

Frequenting a cold empty void
And fearing I am, paranoid
Obeying this despondent way
The crumbling hopes, the price to pay

Contorted veil of false fulfillment
So easily explained away... explained away

Nothing changes the future past
Pretending to the very last
Contorted veil of false fulfillment
So easily explained away

Driving onward, must gratify
I'm posing in a satisfied lie
Disregarding this emptiness
And settling, now, for so much less

Contorted veil of false fulfillment
So easily explained away

Donning a sweet contented mask
Acquiring bliss a grueling task
Nothing changes the future past
Pretending to the very last

Contorted veil of false fulfillment
So easily explained away... explained away...
Explained away...


6. Still Black

[Lyrics by K. Heidbreder and K. Nardi]

My touch means nothing, it's just a sympathetic mock embrace
This pity for you leaves nothing but a bitter taste
Persistent lies, nothing but useless words of waste
You voice seems harmless through these softened tones of grey
But grey is still black

Your face is nothing but a transparent fixture
Perception is nothing but a distorted picture
Expectations are taking in the deceptive mixture
Your substance is nothing but a lightened shade of grey
But grey is still black

A carousel of vanity
Apparently persuading me
Still all the while evading me
Accepting all, believing none
Always pretending we are one
So meaningless

Intentions mean nothing, it's only for the one inside
Regression prevented, carried on the truthless tide
Cold breath, mistaken, whispers with a senseless pride
Your front is nothing, nothing but misted cloud of grey
But grey is still black

Your face is nothing but a transparent fixture
Perception is nothing but a distorted picture
Expectations are taking in the deceptive mixture
Your substance is nothing but a lightened shade of grey
But grey is still black

A carousel of vanity
Apparently persuading me
Still all the while evading me
Accepting all, believing none
Always pretending we are one
So meaningless

Your face is nothing...
Perception is nothing...
Expectations are taking...
Your substance is nothing but a lightened shade of grey
But grey is still black


7. What You Became

[Lyrics by K. Nardi]

You've grown into this faceless mask and empty shell
And, like a ghost of your indulgence, you wear them well.
Still haunting something, by your own hand, lost
And you shiver with the chilling sense
You've saved nothing for yourself...

The lies, the games,
Devoid of guilt or shame
Now you resent what you became
And the reality of only you to blame

You wander through each desperate hour and numbered day
And long to hold each wasted moment spent in vain
Still missing something you've slain so wrecklessly
And ignored it through shortsightedness
The thought that someday you might care

The lies, the games,
Devoid of guilt or shame
Now you resent what you became
And the reality of only you to blame

Now you resent what you became
And the reality of only you to blame

You've grown into this faceless mask and empty shell
And, like a ghost of indulgence, you wear them well
Still haunting something, by your own hand, lost
And you shiver with the chilling sense
You've saved nothing...
Nothing for yourself...

Now you resent what you became
And the reality of only you to blame


8. Our Reunion

[Lyrics by K. Nardi]

To see the world so differently
Had never seemed a crime
But still I felt the punishment of disapproving eyes
The criticism misconstrued
Had driven me away
In bitterness which helped create the world I grew to hate

'Round and 'Round and 'Round and 'Round we go
Divided by the things we can't show
Now, you're standing beside yourself
In anger, you hide yourself
Afraid for me
Inside, is something no words can reach
And only that time could teach
Now I anxiously await Our Reunion

A feeling that I couldn't place
A reflection I couldn't face
By making you my enemy, it was easy to run from me
Naivete's distorted view
All the things I thought I knew
Now I finally understand what separates the "men" from the man

'Round and 'Round and 'Round and 'Round we go
Divided by the things we can't show
Now, you're standing beside yourself
In anger you hide yourself
Afraid for me
Inside, is something no words could reach
And only time could teach
Now I anxiously await Our Reunion

'Round and 'Round and 'Round and 'Round we go
Divided by the things we can't show
Now, you're standing beside yourself
In anger you hide yourself
Afraid for me
Inside, is something no words could reach
And only that time could teach
Now I anxiously await Our Reunion


9. Idle Hours

[Lyrics by J. Emery and K. Nardi]

Repeat this habitual course
To lift this weight which drags me under
Treading in my remorse
I must stay above the surface longer

Shattering...

Shattering needed rest
Awakened reality
I must confront without...
These idle hours of sleep

Welcome this simple change
Find solace in my frequent slumber
Leaving the once mundane
Escape this world of wretched plunder

Shattering...

Shattering needed rest
Awakened reality
I must confront without...
These idle hours of sleep

Shattering needed rest
Awakened reality
I must confront without...
These idle hours of...
...Sleep


10. Far Too Long

[Lyrics by K. Nardi]

We have pretended far too long
Ignoring far too much
Accountability long overdue
We have neglected far too long
Assuming far too much
Hoping out ignorance will see us through

We have hated far too long
Hurting far too much
Feelings of compassion stripped away
We have followed far too long
Denying far too much
Responsibility has gone astray

I hope in my heart of hearts
With all my soul and mind
That it's not irreversible
That this isn't all there is

We have accused for far too long
Blaming far too much
Never really able to accept
We have doubted far too long
Distrusting far too much
Our contempt leaves no room for empathy

I hope in my heart of hearts
With all my soul and mind
That it's not irreversible
That this isn't all there is